The Passing of the Rod

   By Bob Tackels

Every adult who has introduced a child to the world of fishing has realized at some point that all the patience, answered questions, hours of instruction and untangling of lines has all been worth it. A sense of satisfaction, admiration and regret all come together in that one moment when you realize that they can really do it on their own. At that moment, we become impressed by our teaching skills, their comprehension level and the fact that they WERE really paying attention! In addition to the angling skills, they hopefully have learned many life lessons along the way and have become just all around good people.

This day comes at all different ages. Mine is easy to remember. My grandfather, Albert Stansfield, always had time to take me fishing from the moment I could hold a rod in my hand. We fished fresh and salt water from Maine to Florida together. It seemed like every time I got in his car, so did the fishing rods. He knew how much our time together and catching fish meant to me. My grandparents were “Snowbirds”, wintering on Florida’s Gulf Coast for over twenty years and living a block a way from me for the other half of the year. I would visit them in Florida during school vacations and while there we would fish either in the Gulf of Mexico or Sarasota Bay, at some point, almost every day. Many nights we would venture onto one of the lighted piers and fish for speckled trout, whiting and redfish. We would often be accompanied by one of the handful of regular fishing partners and friends my grandfather spent time with over the years. I learned much about fishing from all of them and even more about life itself. They came to Florida in the winter months from many different states. Most were from Michigan, Ohio, Illinois and Kentucky. They were from all walks of life, but all true gentlemen with the patience of saints.

One day, when I was twelve years old, my grandfather felt ill and sent me off to fish with “The Sheepshead King”. John “Shorty” Stroven and his wife were longtime friends of my grandparents. I had fished on John’s boat many times and he was known throughout the area as the best sheepshead fisherman there was. After spending the day fishing off of The Longboat Key Pass Bridge fishing for sheepshead, John dropped me off back at my grandparent’s house. My grandfather walked outside as we pulled up and asked how we did. Shorty responded with “ I’m not taking him anymore Al! He caught twice as many and bigger ones than me. He had to drag them off the bridge because they were too heavy to carry! He was kidding about not taking me anymore of course. John was my fishing buddy too. I will never forget the approving looks of both men and how my grandfather just smiled and laughed saying “Well Shorty, I did teach him most everything I know”. They both laughed and Shorty told my grandfather that he thought I had “graduated” and to stop teaching me while there were still some fish left! In that span of a couple minutes, I had “arrived” as a fisherman. Two of the men I admired most had paid me the ultimate compliment! My grandfather would proudly tell the story of that day many times, to many people. Thankfully, he lived a mostly healthy and long life to age 96.

My son Matthew started fishing about the same time I did. Early on, his older sister Katie would often join us on our fishing adventures. She did very well in her own right, but her interests went in a different direction, as they both grew older. Katie is an honor student and gravitated to become very successful with music and theatre. Matthew was a sponge when it came to fishing. We have fished from CT to FL in both fresh and salt water. He still gets enjoyment and finds it challenging whether we are catching native trout in our backyard stream or stripers off Sandy Hook. He can cast a four-weight fly rod or a ten-foot surf rod with the same skill and enthusiasm. Matthew has endured being called “Gilligan”, “Baitboy” and a variety of other nicknames as he honed his fishing skills over the years. He has always been up for anything and willing to pull his own weight as far as readying tackle, cleaning up, etc. He has also learned to be not only a very good fisherman, but also a very good person. Matthew is good at sports, a high honors student, socially mature beyond his years and has a big heart. While his mother and I would love to take all the credit, I truly feel that the many hours, experiences and people we have encountered during our fishing adventures have had something to do with it.

I knew it was my turn to “pass the rod” shortly after Matthew’s thirteenth birthday. He has been a good stream, pond, lake and beach fisherman for a while now and can “hang with the boys” in just about any fishing environment. The day came this spring on a striper trip aboard one of my oldest friends boats, off Sandy Hook. We had caught dozens of big blues and decent stripers off the beaches and on this boat in the past couple years, but this day was Matthew’s first chance at bigger stripers. After snagging more bunkers for bait than my friend and I combined, he rigged up, baited and casted out a new rod we had just purchased. He caught the biggest striper of that day and fought it like a pro. Ironically, I landed the second biggest a couple minutes later. My friend and I looked at each other and blurted out “good job Buddy” as the net and fish landed on the deck. The combination of my friend’s approving reaction and my own proud, fatherly feelings gave me a flash back to that day in Florida long ago. As we both posed for a quick picture and released our fish together, I though of my grandfather and how he would have agreed I knew it was Matthew’s time.

Life is full of good feelings and bad. All we can do is our best to tilt the scales to the positive side. “Passing the Rod” onto someone else is one of the most satisfying and rewarding experiences you can have. Here are a couple tips that can help in getting you there.

Start young and make it casual – Portray fishing as just something fun to do. Make it light and go to places that are sure to provide plenty of action. 

Always make it interesting – Combine it with a trip to the playground, a nature walk or going for ice cream.

Have patience – You will be surprised some day how if you give a little now, you will get a lot in return one day. Like any investment, it takes time.

Answer all the questions – When they stop asking, you start. The more that is said, the more is learned.

Never force the issue – Remember it needs to be fun and desired time. If they are not in the mood, pick another time.

Recognition – Be enthusiastic about the smallest of accomplishments. They want and need praise.

Be Positive – Let them know your are still proud of them for trying even when they step on and break your favorite fishing rod!

Time Utilization – Use the time to find out what is going on in their lives, not just the fish’s. This is a great chance to really get to know your children from pre-school through puberty!

            I often hear people speaking and often complaining how they spend so much time revolving around their children’s activities. While ball sports, gymnastics, dance, music, etc. are all excellent activities, a parents involvement is often not more than providing transportation, funding and support up in the stands. Time spent on a shoreline or in a boat can truly be quality time spent with what should be a priority in your life for a very long time. There are never any guarantees that you will get out what you put in, but it should be worth a try.

Fish safe, stay dry, practice “catch and release” and remember that FAMILY FISHING IS FUN TOO!!

- Bob Tackels